January 13, 2010

45 Comments »

1. I would so appreciate winning the Harboring Hope course! I am living the whole betrayal nightmare all over again after the Tiger Woods Scandal. I thought we were on the road to recovery after my husbands multiple affairs over a 15 year time period. Clearly, we have not taken all the steps necessary to heal properly.

   Comment by chris — January 13, 2010 @ 10:15 am

2. I really would like to win the Harboring Hope course. I am living through the betrayal hell. At first I was in denial and wasn’t ready to begin the healing process. Now I am ready. I want to do whatever is needed for me to have the best marriage possbile. A marriage God intended.

   Comment by Amanda — January 13, 2010 @ 10:59 am

3. I seek your resources, I look for answers, I feel so lost and incomplete without my husband…after a year and a half of being separated due to his unfaithful actions, I still feel God’s grace in lending hope and forgiveness so that we can repair our marriage…but I’m fighting that battle alone. I don’t know how to proceed…can I be in such denial or are the signs so clear that I can’t see them? Please consider me for your free course…it would be a blessing to me in so many ways!

   Comment by Lydia Thompson — January 13, 2010 @ 11:27 am

4. I want to take the Harboring Hope course because the shame of the countless infidelities my ‘elite’ military husband has chosen to take part in has changed me in a way I can not stand. To everyone, my husband is a hero, to me, he is someone I do not know. I need help learning how to effectively deal with this betrayal without letting it ruin me.

   Comment by Charlene — January 13, 2010 @ 11:36 am

5. I would love to win the Harboring Hope course because even though it’s been almost one year since I found out about my husband’s mostly emotional/email affair, triggers will take me back as if it were yesterday. I’m not convinced that we have done all that we can to insure that this does not happen again. While my husband has changed immensely through this past year, he sometimes gets defensive when I am “triggering” or having doubts about our relationship.

   Comment by Kathy — January 13, 2010 @ 11:41 am

6. I don’t know where else to turn. You give me the hope I need. We are so fincially strained as much as maritally and therapy to deal with his addictions is already costing so much. He doesn’t really understand why I need this too and as a stay-at-home mom I cannot pay for it on my own. I wanted to come for an intensive weekend and he thought maybe it would help but we do not have the money right now either. Tiger’s crazy escapades made me nervous but not as much as the porn I recently found on our computer. I NEED HELP PLEASE!!!!

   Comment by claud — January 13, 2010 @ 11:49 am

7. I really feel I need more than the couples’ therapy that my husband and I are receiving. Both of us had an affair, agreed to re-commit to each other and I and multiple therapists thought we were on the road to recovery only to find out he was still in his affair throughout a year of counseling. Devastated that he apparently took our second chance so lightly, I don’t have any hope or trust left that I/we can recover. Can Harboring Hope bring peace to us once again?

   Comment by Joan — January 13, 2010 @ 11:52 am

8. I would like towin the Harboring Hope course because I’d like to be able to love again like I use to without fear.

   Comment by Sandi — January 13, 2010 @ 11:55 am

9. I would love to win this course! I’m about 5 years out of the awful discovery of my husbands affair and while we have worked on our marriage I’m still having such a hard time trusting!! I still have so much worry and pain and I want to be able to move on. We both want to stay married. Some days I feel I’m just hanging on for my children. I don’t want a broken home for my kids and I’m doing my best with God’s help to keep it together.

   Comment by Leona — January 13, 2010 @ 12:02 pm

10. I want to take the class because after 32 years of marriage and 8 children with the same woman, its going to negatively effect alot of people if i divorce, and the divorce date is filed for feb 26.

    Comment by scott — January 13, 2010 @ 12:24 pm

11. I would like to take the harboring hope course – although I’m not sure it’s the one for me… Unfortunately, my wife’s infidelities have led to divorce. So, there is no hope for my marriage but I want the experience of recovering from the hurt and pain of her betrayal to be the best possible for me as a person. I want to continue to be the best Dad I can for my son and I want to be the best possible partner in my next relationship.

    Comment by PD — January 13, 2010 @ 1:10 pm

12. I would love to have the chance to try the harboring hope course- right now money is so tight and adding that to the sexual addiction I discoverd about my husband AND his infidelities- I feel as if I am suffocating. the help out there is so untrained for what I need- I feel like I have been wasting my time and money on what our insurance “will” pay for. If money was no object- would attend EVERY thing that offerd hope to us! The lable that gets attached to the spouse/SO that stays is so negitive- that alone is very dificult to overcome.. How do I explain why I am staying to others, when I can’t even asnwer the question to myself. “in sickness and health” – I never imagined this “hell”..

    Comment by Kimberly — January 13, 2010 @ 1:58 pm

13. I would like to be able to take this course because even after 6 years and what has turned out to be the marriage of my dreams I still am suffering due to the OW making sure I see her and have to deal with her.

    Comment by Elaine — January 13, 2010 @ 2:58 pm

14. My husband and I are separated due to his affair with a younger woman. My life has been completely turned upside down. I am looking to heal and move through this extremely difficult time. I feel this course is offering me an opportunity of a lifetime. I do not know if I can forgive and trust my husband again. Either way, I need help.

    Comment by Amanda — January 13, 2010 @ 4:06 pm

15. We are 2 years into recovery of my husband’s betrayal. I have been to therapy, we tried some couples therapy, and we have been to a marriage repair weekend. At this point, finances are tight and I can’t justify spending more money…why can’t I just get over it? Feeling so stuck, but Harboring Hope sounds so good because it is with people who have actually survived infidelity… and stayed together.

    Comment by Jeannie — January 13, 2010 @ 5:17 pm

16. I would like to win the course because I need hope for my future. My whole self was demolished when I found out about his affair.

    Comment by Gingercake — January 13, 2010 @ 6:53 pm

17. I feel I need this course because I have no where else to turn. After 18 years of a happy marriage, I was blindsided with betrayel. I has been 3 months one of the hardest things are the “triggers”. Which brings it me back to the day of discovery. There are no support groups where I live. Please help! can there ever be closure?!

    Comment by Christine — January 13, 2010 @ 7:18 pm

18. Our divorce was final in June 2009. His love/sex addiction rages on. My heart is broken. But even so…I have hope that it will mend, and that someday I will love again.

    Comment by Judy — January 13, 2010 @ 8:41 pm

19. i want our marriage and relationship to truly heal. i want each of us to know the secure feeling we once felt in our friendship and marriage.

    Comment by tb — January 13, 2010 @ 8:57 pm

20. I would like to win The Harboring Hope Course because after 6 months I am still devastated. I need help to know that healing is possible and that there is hope.

    Comment by Shannon — January 13, 2010 @ 11:07 pm

21. I would like to win the course because I’m tired of living in constant pain. With the recent Tiger Wood’s scandal and a good friend cheating on her husband and wanting me to keep her secret, I have been thrown back into the hell of betrayal that my husband threw us into 15 months ago.

    Comment by Wendy — January 13, 2010 @ 11:27 pm

22. Since the beginning of 2008 till June 2009 I have counselled 110 couples and most of these for infifelity. As a pastor dealing daily with marriages, I feel I could learn so much from this course to be an ongoing help to the many couples who come to our church to help couples build healthy, God honoring lifelong marriages where children will grow up in such homes.

    Comment by Flo — January 14, 2010 @ 12:17 am

23. I could really use Harboring Hope. I am the 10 year wife of a sex addict and alcoholic and feel I really need help from professionals who have been there and done that. I need healing.

    Comment by Jennifer — January 14, 2010 @ 6:24 am

24. I want to participate in Harboring Hope because that is what God is telling me I need to do. I have been married for 15 years and been with my husband in relationship for 23 years. On September 25, 2009, I found out that in some form, he has been commiting infidelities against God and our marriage for the whole 23 years – porn, multiple physical affairs, emotional affairs, etc. (even with a close family friend). The period of revelation where he told me all these things lasted for over 9 weeks and devestated me day after day, all over again. I have spent time in prayer, therapy, in the Bible, etc. but my recovery is still missing something. I want to commit fully to work with him on healing our marriage, but I am really struggling with the commitment. I am hoping that Harboring Hope will help me with this. Thanks.

    Comment by Krista — January 14, 2010 @ 8:17 am

25. I recently read the shocking truth about trust and I was so impressed. This article validated how I was feeling and helped me understand why I was stuck — that I was not crazy. Thank you for what you do here at ARC – I am eager to learn more (hope I win) so that I can heal myself.

    Comment by Hopeful — January 14, 2010 @ 8:41 am

26. My Pastor recommended that I apply for the Harboring Hope giveaway. My husband committed adultery a few months ago and we are now in counseling. My husband is a Christian and very involved in our church so I was blindsided by his infidelity. Even though my spouse ended the relationship and is working harder than ever to make our marriage work, I am having a rough time getting through the betrayal. Just when I think I can move on, I’ll hear a song, see an image, etc., that brings all the memories back to me. I would like to take your course and see if I can move past this and have the marriage I know I deserve.

    Comment by Tammy — January 14, 2010 @ 9:08 am

27. It’s been very difficult for me to find myself and inner strength after finding about my husband’s first affair about three years ago. After trying so hard to work on my marriage with my husband of 23 years with his take it or leave it attitude, I found out two months ago about another affair that started when they met at a funeral. We have four wonderful children and every day I wonder if I’m crazy, stupid, or both for trying to make this work.

    Comment by Irene — January 14, 2010 @ 11:46 am

28. I would love to win the free course. I am still in the beginning stages of recovery after my spouse had numerous affairs with my closest friends. That’s right, my friends. When everything came crashing down I found myself alone with no one but me. I stumbled across Harboring Hope and it has been a life saver. It helped me to see that I am not alone and that I didn’t have to recover alone. It has been 4 months since my world was shattered and slowly I am picking up the pieces.

    Comment by Briana — January 14, 2010 @ 12:25 pm

29. I’d like to be considered for the free course. Unfortunately, (like many on this site) the money for professional help is non-existent right now. I specifically want to take Harboring Hope because I don’t fit into the traditional infidelity column but I’m devastated just the same.

    Comment by Wendy — January 14, 2010 @ 3:15 pm

30. I need this course so I can be human again. In May 2006 my husband had a full blown affair with his first cousin. He moved her into our spare apartment above his office. I new the day he called and said she was in town my life, my marriage, my whole world was in trouble. I really believe God was telling me. He new I didn’t care for her because 25 yrs. prior before we had married, she lived 5 doors down and was 16 always coming over groping him. This has been the biggest nightmare of my life. He had her stay in our home, this has affected our children, our lives. I finally gave him a ulitame her or me, write off he told he wasnt telling her to leave, then changed his mind.Untill I found the love letters she had sent him saying how she enjoyed their time at the motel with details. Plus finding out my sons 20 year girlfriend was involved also. l year later I find out He also had sexuall relations with her back before we were married also. There were also other women, prostites, dating svs. and this had be going on our whole marrige of 25 years. So you see the mental and emotiional abuse from being told I was crazy that was his cousin and he wouldn’t do that. I feel I am all alone that no one has any idea my feelings. I’m a stay at home mom of 20 yrs. My husbands busines has folded, he’s working for half, we have no insurance, and my 18 yr. old daughter who ran away from home because she couldn’t handle what her dad did because she couldnt stand to be in her room cause his cousin stayed in there, is pregnant. I love my husband and want our marrige to work but he has no idea what i go thru, and feels this should be gone by know because he’s not doing anything. So much more but you get the picture, I NEED HELP…….PLEASE!

    Comment by Tina — January 14, 2010 @ 7:14 pm

31. After two affairs in the last year and being deployed with the mititary….my husband is still a mess and is hurting my kids and I. I am a mess, inside and out. I cannot get past the affairs, the pian, deceit, lies and hurt. I am soo angry and rageful yet sad and depressed as well. My counselor says I need to work on “ME” and getting over this before any work on the marriage can ever be done–if even possible….this class would help “me” heal and be the best me possible..I need to be that for my kids!!

    Comment by estella — January 14, 2010 @ 7:25 pm

32. I have been by one of my best friends side during his wife’s multiple acts of infidelity over the last 2 years. He and his wife went to ARC in 2009 and it made an impression on them both. To my dismay in August of 09, while continuing to help my friend through his difficulties, I stumbled upon information that brought my wife’s infidelity to the surface. We have a near 3yr old son and I think that was what kept her from running out the door. We were in counseling while she was having an affair, and so ever since. This has totally rocked my world, physically, mentally, emotionally and spiritually. We are living a mediocre life at this point, no real depth. counseling has helped but hasn’t gone too deep at this point. Im interested in this for the fact that there are others in my shoes and they may be able to shed light of some issues as well as me being able to do the same. I love that this organization is ran by people that have been through this very experience. I think that might be lacking in most counseling environment these days. Thank you for the opportunity and look forward to as much healing as possible.

    Comment by Chad — January 14, 2010 @ 8:35 pm

33. I want and need this course. Well, I am experiencing a cheater for the 2nd time, actually this is number 3, but I wasn’t married to the first cheater. I have to say that this one is so much more hurtful. My husband knows my past, what I’ve been through and even everything about my first husband and yet I opened a door to another life he’s been living for years. Here I’ve went from a sick man, to sicker, to sickest. He is currently getting help from several groups and therapy and says he wants to change. Ask your man if he is the husband that he wants his daughter to marry? My depression and hurt runs very deep, I know I can forgive, but I can’t forget. I filed for divorce 11-13. One day I want us to work, one day I don’t. It’s a mess to say the least. My therapist says I don’t have to make a decision either way right now.She also says we’re looking at doing at least 18 months of intensive marriage counseling. It’s my choice to do as I did in my first marriage. I want to try and if we don’t remain together, then I can look back and know that I, myself tried. My health isn’t good and my mind isn’t either right now, just got fired.I want to know why I keep choosing the same type of man. Not saying that it is my fault for his actions and behaviors. But it’s opened me up to how I get in these abusive relationships and how I stay in them with me the only one trying to grow spiritually. I have always set boundaries, just no consequences when people cross the line. That’s in my friendships as well as my marriages. I pray for everyone who has been ripped apart.

    Comment by Marie — January 15, 2010 @ 5:38 am

34. My wife and I have been working at this for almost two and a half years now. Yet we still have issues and questions. We need help on how to best work through the past and rebuild for the future.

    Comment by Larry — January 16, 2010 @ 6:01 pm

35. I want to win a Harboring Hope course because I’ve had more than one person tell me it was so good for them and I should take it. I am a very broken women who believes in an all-powerful God, but that still doesn’t take away the devastation I have experienced or the immense pain I feel over my husband’s affair. I go to sleep wishing I just wouldn’t wake up in the morning because the despair is more than I can take. I want more than anything for my marriage to be healed and for my husband and I to be better than we ever were. But I also want to be healed and whole myself, and if Harboring Hope can offer help with that, I would be so very grateful.

    Comment by Logan — January 17, 2010 @ 10:00 pm

36. I would like to win Harboring hope cause I need hope .My husband does not have empathy and thinks we are a happy after a doing porn for 3 years and 2 affairs .
    I want to heal and educate my self and have support by people who understand me.Iwould like to learn what recovery really looks like.

    Comment by eccles — January 18, 2010 @ 4:04 am

37. I AM harboring hope. I have stayed with my husband because I love him & because I know he loves me. My husband helped me to accept Jesus into my life and live a Christian life, when I was lost. My husband has had affairs with 5 different women that I know of; 4 before we were married and 1 this past summer. We were married in August, 2008, 2 weeks after I learned of the 4th affair. My husband finally admitted he has a problem & seems to honestly want to change that. So I chose to stay & support him & work through this. I live on hope & prayer, but I need more than that & he wants me to just get over it!

    Comment by Nancy — January 18, 2010 @ 3:23 pm

38. I’m angry and I’m tired and Im stuck. I feel like a bystander in a life I no longer recognize.

    Comment by sshhhh — January 18, 2010 @ 9:36 pm

39. Hi Rick & wonderful team,

    I want to win horboring hope to help me complete the process of healing to myself and to be me good self again with or without my husband. I’m the hurt spouse here but he has threatoned to leave me and the our three children after accepting openly before his relations that he has a girlfriend. All he does is to rub it in over and over again. Just tired of this cycle and need help to break it…

    Comment by Princess — January 19, 2010 @ 6:02 am

40. My husband and I just recently separated after I discovered him having a 3rd affair in our 6 years of marriage. Since he has left, he has continued this relationship with another woman and has no desire to come back home. I am so angry and hurt that he would leave me and our 2 young kids, but at the same time I am trying to focus on where I went wrong in our marriage and how God can mold me into the woman He wanted me to be. At times I feel such a peace that through these trials, God will fight for our marriage, but then there are other heart-breaking moments where I feel I cannot bear the pain. I stumbled across Harboring Hope this morning as I was looking into counseling at Crossroads Counseling, where my husband and I have been before after the first affair. I feel that this program would help me move through all the hurt and get in the place that God wants me to be.

    Comment by Stephanie — January 20, 2010 @ 8:36 am

41. My husband and I have grown tremendously in our intimacy working through Marriage 911 and (currently) Married for Life. He works diligently at helping me to feel safe; however, my mind is stuck in the rut of our past. I have a hard time seeing my husband through a new lens. I often say, “I cannot wait to wake up one day and have freedom again”. Instead, I am exhausted and worn from being owned by my fears, triggers and pride. I am ready to live my life with zeal again! I want to look in the mirror and see a Christian woman, a wife, a mother, a friend, a sister, a daughter with light in her eyes.

    Comment by Patricia — January 20, 2010 @ 10:48 am

42. After discovering my husband’s second affair and continued pornography use, he admitted that he was a sex addict. But now he has revealed that he has had sex with 9 women during our marriage and has lost track of the number of failed sexual attempts in any environment where women would give him attention, including in front of his 6 year old daughter. I feel like I have had my guts ripped out and have no sane options, no pain free alternatives, and no clear path to the ultimate peace, free from suffering. I am willing to invest the time and effort into healing myself and growing personally in order to achieve happiness with or without my husband.

    Comment by Virginia — January 20, 2010 @ 12:43 pm

43. I really would appreciate winning the Harboring Hope course. I served in Iraq in a civilian capacity for 2 years, separated from my wife. During my last 6 mos. there I had an affair which totally destroyed my marriage and family. I returned from Iraq with PTSD and major depression, and our family is now w/o an income (except from Soc. Sec. disability payments), so the cost factor is very important as well. My wife cannot seem to move on about the affair, and yet I’ve tried everything I can find to fix things. Would you please help us?

    Comment by Cliff — January 20, 2010 @ 7:14 pm

44. My husband is a sex addict and we are currently separated. In order for him to move back in under true husband/wife terms, I have a large amount of healing and don’t know where to start. I have four small children and really need this if I am to help this family become one again.

    Comment by Jennifer — January 21, 2010 @ 8:46 am

45. I realize I missed out on the deal, but I’m so overwhelmed by the amount of hurt here. I am detailing my journey–battle, on my new blog, if anyone would like to stop by and check it out.

    Comment by c.christine @ battleofjoan — March 2, 2010 @ 11:30 am

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  Harboring Hope is a 12 week online course designed to help heal the pain caused by your mate's infidelity. The course includes a workbook and DVD set, and conference calls with your small group and the course's authors, Leslie Hardie and John Haney.

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